Ini adalah survey yang dibuat oleh mommy Lyna, tapi sengaja ku ingin jawab di sini. Tujuannya hanya lah untuk titipan daku di masa akan datang...
1. Sincerely accept him as my husband right from the start. = DO, sebaik akad & terikat ikatan yang sah.. dan mula kenal erti cinta & kasih sayang... so terima lah seadanya, baik & buruknya.. sebab en ayah lah pelengkap hidup ibu...
2. Put him as priority, even before the kids. Because he stands at the highest rank in ‘the people I shall obey to’. = DO
3. Encourage him to respect and take care of his mother, even if the MIL is very the cerewet.
= D0, ibu nya ibu ku jua
4. Avoid communication breakdown, always talk and discuss about everything. And if I can’t, just send an SMS, email or letter.
= DO, Alhamdulillah, sehingga ke hari ni tak pernah lah lagi tak bercakap.. setiap hari ade ajer cerita.. & daku adalah jenis yang tak de tapis2, terus cakap kalo tak suka or tak puashati
5. Pray for him everytime I perform solat so that he can get the happiness and succeed in everything he ventures. = DO, kalau bukan isteri yang mendoakan suami, siapa lagi
6. Ask for his attention because I am his wife. He should prioritize me more than everything.
= DO.. tapi tak lah setiap masa nak minta adap kita jer.. anak2 pun nak ayah dia jugak, mak dia, adik dia… tp kalo adik dia lebih2 nak minta tolong & at the same time daku pun ade keperluan, so daku selalu minta en ayah pikirkan keperluan kami anak-beranak dulu… *selfish kah daku*
7. His mother has no right on him after he has his own family. His mother should stay away from his life and let him be with me and the kids.
= DON’T, mak dia mak daku jugak… usahlah penting kan diri sangat... nanti anak2 buat kat kita plak...
8. Protect his dignity and don’t tell others about his bad and his weakness. Unless if he’s doing something not right.
= DO, kalo en ayah pulak salah pun takkan nak aibkan dia satu doniya... nampak sgt daku yg 'mulut-jahat' *kalo daku buat camtu ler*
9. Always cook his favourite food and even if I don’t like it, I will still smiling and eat together.
= DO, masa mula kahwin memang harus masak @ belajar masak makanan kesukaannya.. memula tak suka, tp lama2 ku suka juga... heheh.. antaranya masak nasi goreng boh belacan & dia tak suka campur sayur... la ni anak2 pun suka makan...
10. Cool him down if he is under stress of anger by saying nice words, not membebel.
= DO, en ayah selalu salah letak kunci kereta, kunci kedai, kunci rumah @ jam tangan (boleh kata segala brg peribadinya).. suatu pagi dah almost 5.30 pagi, dia dok kalut2 cari kunci rumah tak jumpa.. muka memang dah tensen habis... kat tempat sangkut takde.. so daku dgn mata tak leh nak buka tu pun bangun lah juga, tolong lah cari.. malas nak bebel.. cari punya cari, rupernya kat atas katil tersembunyi di balik bantal2... hmm, ku malas nak cakap apa.. tak kuasa nak bising2 di subuh hari nan hening.. lagipun en ayah dah lewat sejam.. kalo ku bising2, agaknya berkualitikah kerja en ayah hari itu...
11. Say sorry even if we’re not doing anything wrong to avoid argument.
= 50-50, kakyong jarang minta maaf kecuali itu memang betul2 salah kakyong… tapi dalam Islam digalakkan minta maaf all the time.. but practically, kakyong hanya minta maaf bila kakyong buat salah.. *daku memang hati keras..*
12. Ask for ‘kesamarataan’ in husband and wife. I deserve to live as what I want to.
= DON’T, nak samarata cam mana erkkk…?!
13. House chores is not my job, it’s him. So he has to do his job or get a maid.
= DON’T, seboleh2 kerjasama siapkan kerja rumah… jaga anak pun sama-sama.. so bile cepat selesai, boley sama-sama hepi & main2 dgn anak2..
14. He has no right to check my handphone because it is my privacy.
= DON’T. kami hanya ada 1 hfon.. so kalo en ayah perlu nak guna, en ayah akan bawa.. kalo tak, dia tinggal di rumah jer. ... sejak fulltime di rumah ni, daku pun tak rajin nak ber'sms' dgn sesiapa.. kecuali bila ada keperluan saja..
15. I have my own life and I don’t need to ask his permission if I want to do anything.
= DON’T. dah kawin, makna nya berkongsi hidup la.. pasal la pulak nak buat hal sendiri2.. selalunya kakyong bincang dulu dgn en ayah.. boleh ker? Kalo tak boleh, kenapa? Kalo boleh tu, takde lah nak tanya panjang dah... kalo tak boleh tu, belajor lah redho, mungkin ade hikmah disebaliknya..... *sedey gak sebab dah byk kali tak dapat join reunion & gathering..*
16. He has to choose between his mother family or me. If he loves me, then he should choose me.
= DON’T. jangan menjolok sarang tebuan.. nanti kena sengat… heheh.. naper lah nak fenin2 lah kepala & jiwa en ayah.. we are one big family..
17. I would do all the chores and manage the kids, even if I am working and exhausted after a long day.
= DON’T. kerjasama.. ade kerja yang en ayah buat.. ada kerja yg ibu buat.. so kalo nak makan cepat, en ayah tolong jaga anak.. sambil2 tengok tv, en ayah sangkutkan baju di hanger sebelum hang kat penyidai.. ibu boleh selesaikan kerja di dapur.. mop lantai, basuh pinggan magkuk bagai… lipat kain, ibu buat sambil baca blog kawan2… heheh
18. Be transparent and do not keep secret to each other. = DO
19. I have to respect his privacy because a man always needs space for himself.
= DO, tapi ada kala tu kalo dia kerap nak beraktiviti dgn kawan2, & tinggal daku kalut2 sorang2 dari pagi sampai malam berkelam kabut dgn anak2.. hangin jugak.. so bila tak puashati, daku request boley tak dia tak g beraktiviti, beri lah alasan yang munasabah..
20. Sexual intercourse is not important, as long as we show love toward each other. = DON’T
21. Focusing on how to be a good wife and mother rather than asking/hoping him to be a good husband and father.
= 50-50. Ada betuinya, sebab bila kita tak expect apa2, ringan jer dia nak tolong buat itu ini… sebab dia tau ibu dah letih dengan anak2 & selesaikan kerja rumah.. & as long rumah tak macam tongkang karam sudah ler… but most of the time, kami selalu berbincang.. tak acilah kan ibu sorang jer yang buat yang terbaik, kalo ayah tak support
22. Being a wife needs lots of patience because not all men can understand women. = DO.
23. Support him in everything, his ups and downs. = DO, kalo bukan ibu yang beri sokongan moral saper lagi....
24. I should ask him for nice presents for my birthday, if only he loves me.
= DON’T. setakat ni tak pernah minta.. tp en ayah rajin belanja makan .. bukan jenis yg romantik2 nak bagi hadiah or bunga.
25. Love him unconditionally. = DO
26. Put some tolerance in everything because not all marriage last.
= DO, kakyong not the kind yang cerewet.. dalam segala hal pun memang harus bertolak ansur untuk kebaikan bersama ibu, en ayah & anak2..
27. Say I love you everyday.
= 50-50 . heheh, seingat nya jarang2 sgt nak sebut I love you… tapi kasih saying ku terzahir dlm bentuk mengasuh anak-anak jgn ada cacat cela, sediakan makan minum utk pastikan en ayah & anak2 cukup makan.. tu pasal lah en ayah perut PJK, pastikan rumah bersih.. walaupun pinggang ku sakit2 & rasa mcm nak terpeleot, tapi ku gagahkan juga terbongkok2 mencuci rumah… terutama cuci toilet & mengemop…
28. Always think about how to make him happy, even if he doesn’t always make me happy.
= 50-50, kadang2 bila sibuk dgn anak2 & badan penat.. tak de plak nak pk how to make him happy.. rasa2 nya apa yg terzahir di dalam rumah tu sudah cukup buat en ayah hepi.. sbb kalo dia tak hepi, dia mesti tak bercakap.. ni hari2 bercakap.. sampai ibu pun letih nak dengor.. tapi tadah jer la telinga..
29. He should give me some money so that I can enjoy myself.
= 50-50, dah lama en ayah tak bagi ibu duit poket.. sejak ade anak2 & sejak ibu tak kerja… jadi daku memang kemarau $$ tapi daku tak kemarau kasih sayang..
30. Ask someone else to cook (bibik or chef kedai) so that we can spend time alone together.
= 50-50 , sesekala ada gak makan di kedai.. tukor angin.. so it’s a kind of org lain masak lah jugak kan… I’ll say 70% I cook.. the rest is tapau dari kedai yang biasa kami beli… kalo boleh nak masak sendiri setiap hari.. tp kdg2 bila anak2 buat hal, sorang nak nenen, sorang melalak.. so jawabnya memang lambat lah ibu masak.. Cuma nasi lah dah masak awal2.. sebab en ayah kesian dgn ibu (normally bila ayah balik awal, ayah memang dah kelaparan..) so ayah tapau la lauk dr rumah mak dia @ beli dari kedai.. kedai tu pun memang kedai yg biasa kami beli lauk…
okay, mommy lyna ku sudah jawab..
saper nak join the survey.. jom singgah blog My Super Kids